Journey to Authenticity

Wreck this Journal, Week Four

It was still feeling a bit awkward, timid even, so I cracked the spine and hurled it across the room.

Not bad.

Then I smeared some of my precious Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab "Arcana" perfume over a page.

See how the smears have turned the page translucent. Yummy. (Yes, Laura, this is aimed at you.)

The next two were rather mundane:

 

 

Yawn. 

I decided to go to one of the really scary ones:

 

No, there aren't pictures of the flames--wisely, I decided to concentrate on experiencing the moment, rather than capturing the moment on film. It quickly got out of control. (Peter Gabriel is sooo right--you can blow out a candle, but you can't blow out a fire.)

 

As you can see here, I had to stick it under the faucet, and even then, it flared up again and had to be doused one more time.

What did I learn this week? That I'm still tense and uncertain, fearful of doing it "wrong." It's supposed to be fun (and is, when I do it), but I overthink it, making it into such a big deal that it's hard to get started.

What else did I learn this week? That this is actually a pattern with me, with my creativity. I want to be playfully creative every day, but instead, I put it off and end up doing a lot in one big burst. The burst is fun, but the agonizing in the days before really isn't.

Unnecessary drama.

So I'm pledging to do it differently this upcoming week. I will keep it loose, do a little bit everyday. I will, for a change, enjoy the ride on the river, and stop thinking about my final destination.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wreck This Journal, Week Three

I take a deep breath.

I've been focused on Nathan's kindergarten year ending and not on the journal. 

And that's okay.

Mark has the day off and so we were both there to see Nathan get off the bus for one last time. Then, realizing I was about to explode with tiredness (yes, that's possible), I announced I was taking a nap. I picked up my journal, went to the bedroom, turned on the window fan, and snuggled into bed with it.

We snoozed together. I may have drooled a little on it.

I got up, made coffee, savored the taste. Went back to the bedroom for my journal and randomly opened it as I walked to the kitchen. The page invited me to get coffee on it. I contemplated sticking my finger in the cup and dribbling just a little, but then laughed at myself. That's not the point.

 

I held it over the sink and poured.

Isn't it delightful how you can begin to see the page beneath it? I turned it over and it said to poke holes in it.

 

I obliged.

I especially like how some of the holes look like they're crying.

I gratuitously poked a few more holes.

I'm starting to really get into this...

 

 

"This is a Test" or "Karen Has a New Toy"

As I was checking out everyone else's Wreck This Journal  response last week, I started getting excited by the many explorations using video. Very excited.

So I broke down and bought an easy-to-use, easy-to-share Flip camcorder. (Surprise, Mark!) I'm not sure when I'll be brave enough to start sharing myself in this way, but Nathan has stepped up to the plate and volunteered to be my test model. Here he is reading his own creation--his version of a Mo Willems "Pigeon" book:

Five Things That Are Really Making Me Happy Today

  

The orange lilies are in bloom.

 

My fabulous watermelon colored Flax pants. (The purple toenails are a bonus.)

 

Refreshing home-brewed tea (a delightful mix of black and herbal tropical fruit).

 

New craft supplies.

 

My comforting, inspiring Writing Angel (a hand-crafted birthday gift from beloved Kara).

Wreck This Journal, Week One

Well, actually it's week two, but I'm a bit behind (which often seems to be the case). But though I'm naming this entry Week One, I think I'll skip to Week Three next week. Much less confusing that way.

Take a breath, Karen, and explain.

The Other Laura has joined a group of creative types and begun a summer adventure. Unable to bear being left out, I've decided to play along too--and hopefully YOU will, as well. It's quite easy--buy a copy of Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith. Go to Jamie Ridler's Wreck This Journal website and add your name to the roster. Then, every Friday until July 31st, blog about your Wreck This Journal  experience. Easy-peasy.

Except, not so easy-peasy. Not for my uptight self, anyway.

Wreck This Journal encourages spontaneity, destruction, absurdity, messiness, wildness, and complete lack of self inhibition. It's an actual journal, with instructions on each page. Like, "Burn this page." Or, "Find a way to wear the journal."

Oh my.

Can Karen "Never draw attention to yourself" Young loosen up enough for this?

Damn it, she's going to try!

But she's going to have to start with something easy:

 

 

Hmm...that was strangely liberating.

I think this may be the beginning of a fantastic journey.

With his kindergarten diploma in hand...

 

...our little guy is ready to conquer the world. Congratulations, Nathan!

Seeking Bliss

 

 

 It doesn't have to be champagne and roses or a bubble bath and a book...sometimes, most of the time, it can be found in something as simple as a comforting bowl of Malt O' Meal...