Wreck this Journal, Week Four

It was still feeling a bit awkward, timid even, so I cracked the spine and hurled it across the room.

Not bad.

Then I smeared some of my precious Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab "Arcana" perfume over a page.

See how the smears have turned the page translucent. Yummy. (Yes, Laura, this is aimed at you.)

The next two were rather mundane:

 

 

Yawn. 

I decided to go to one of the really scary ones:

 

No, there aren't pictures of the flames--wisely, I decided to concentrate on experiencing the moment, rather than capturing the moment on film. It quickly got out of control. (Peter Gabriel is sooo right--you can blow out a candle, but you can't blow out a fire.)

 

As you can see here, I had to stick it under the faucet, and even then, it flared up again and had to be doused one more time.

What did I learn this week? That I'm still tense and uncertain, fearful of doing it "wrong." It's supposed to be fun (and is, when I do it), but I overthink it, making it into such a big deal that it's hard to get started.

What else did I learn this week? That this is actually a pattern with me, with my creativity. I want to be playfully creative every day, but instead, I put it off and end up doing a lot in one big burst. The burst is fun, but the agonizing in the days before really isn't.

Unnecessary drama.

So I'm pledging to do it differently this upcoming week. I will keep it loose, do a little bit everyday. I will, for a change, enjoy the ride on the river, and stop thinking about my final destination.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

[storyteller's other blog]

Intriguing to follow your process and consider whether or not I'm willing to try some of these 'wreckage' ideas myself. I do love the reference to Peter Gabriel's 'take' on fire and it has my mind running at the moment so I'm a bit distracted as I type this comment. I need to break out of my old habits ... and make time to write again. I find myself wondering about your novel ... trying to recapture the wonder of Taos and the sense of possibility when I started blogging ... way back when. It's good to touch base with you through these last few posts. Hope you and yours are well and enjoying life ;--)
Hugs and blessings,

[ABCcreativity]

this is great! i love the way stretching ourselves creatively helps us see our patterns more clearly.

[Jamie]

Oh, how exciting! Both the fire this week (love the PG reference!) and also the exploration of a new approach this week. Enjoy your ride down the river :)

[judi parker]

we might all need a Fire Prevention intervention! WRECK ON!!

[Barbara Martin (@Reptitude)]

Here's to keeping it relaxed and steady -- and still causing serious wreckage! Yet another flames nearly out of control story, I think this means I might be wise to burn mine outside some place or risk setting off the smoke detector. Hmmmm. Would it help if you thought of it as a playful game and not as "art"? Or as a one-upping on yourself? Just a thought, ignore if you like. WRECK ON!!!!!!!!!!

[kara]

Karen,
Following along with wrecking your journal is so fascinating. I still remember the smell of my fourth grade classroom when I looked into the empty shell of the room after it was set on fire by a disguntled kid. So now I really wish I could smell your journal - between the perfume and the burnt paper smell and whatever else I bet it's a not just a visual collection of wreckage but a collection of smell too.
Know all too well about the putting off and then creative bursts and I thank you for sharing this lesson because it makes me realize that I have a desire to give up this unnecessary drama - and something about that phrase helps me frame it.

[Kristin]

My burn page got out of hand, but not nearly as much as I had originally thought - I have just a little bite out of my burn page LOL None of us need to create unnecessary drama - it just gives us heartburn or heartache. :) I hope you create something each day!

[daringtowrite]

Yup, sounds like you are getting right into this. Way to go! And thanks for the Peter Gabriel lyrics reminder.

[Rose]

The burning was excellent! I am so glad that you enjoyed it all...

[Hybrid J]

Wonderful wreck work! It took some bravery to burn the page ... and you made it! :)

[Scarlet]

I can't believe the results of your "Burn this Page" adventure! Wow! You should see mine. I thought I was going to burn my bed...but thanks to the ceiling fan, all's well. :)

[Jean]

I think many of us are feeling that stuggle. The idea of REALLY REALLY wrecking the book gives me a little pause. I am trying. Today was my first TRULY destructive day - burning the page. Mine got a little out of control, too. I had to pound on it with a dishrag to get the flames to go out.

Ha! I hope you enjoy your process! I think about it so much, but I just have to do it. This week, some foodage, I think!

[The Other Laura]

Hey I'm struggling a little too. As a word person and not a visual art person, I feel like my attempts at drawing and color and just clumsy and clunky and juvenile looking but I'm doing it. I'm pushing WAY out of my comfort zone and playing - even if my palms are sweaty in the process.

I would love to swap a page with you. I'm going to swap with a stranger too (because the thought of that REALLY make me sweat).